The statistics cited and the events recounted do not surprise me, nor do I question their veracity. Having spent some time in the Magic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (I just love that nickname!), I have heard similar stories.

Now, female American soldiers generally wore BDUs which, while not quite as medieval as what the local women wore, was not exactly something a woman would wear to display herself for the view of men. They generally were not harassed… if they were carrying an M16 with a clip in it or were accompanied by male soldiers. Otherwise, they were treated as fair game.

I know of one who was followed into a ladies room and kissed on the mouth, and another who was gang raped. In all fairness, these stories horrified the Arabs we soldiered with as much as they did us.

In this country, the roles are somewhat reversed. Sexual harassment is often defined as whatever the woman perceives it to be, her word is invariably taken as Gospel, and there is no defense for the man. Wonder why so many American men hate women? Wonder no longer… feminism has run rampant and made it a crime to complement a woman on anything, but only if she perceives it that way. Women have always been incomprehensible to men, but now it is a crime to try to understand.

What’s the answer? Damned if I know! Maybe if women carried pistols under their clothes and knew how to use them, or possibly castration knives.

How would the police respond to a woman who decided to defend herself? Would they arrest her? Would the man involved successfully bring charges against her or would he be chided as not being able to “handle” a woman?

Regrettably, this will likely not be an issue as most women could not successfully defend themselves against a larger and heavier man and probably wouldn’t think of trying.

Only one fly in the ointment, that being just exactly what constitutes sexual harassment in the minds of the women polled for the statistics. Some women would regard it as harassment if a man opened a door for them. Others are thicker skinned than that and are ready willing and able to tell jokes in public that make even me blush. Remind me to tell you the one about electricity some day Mona…

Thanks for this post!

As a woman growing up in Egypt, I cannot agree more.

I cannot start counting the time I was “accidently” touched. In Khan el khalili, riding a horse next to the pyramids, Metro…etc.
At those times I would just shut those experiences away, because I didnt understand what it meant. And I think it’s because we don’t have any sexual education, and do not know the meaning of sexual harassment.

I am now living abroad, and I certainly feel no shame to talk about it, but how many of us still cant!

I always think, why are they campagining towards women to cover up…why dont they campaign for MEN TO LOOK AWAY!
The problem is not in the women, it’s obviously in those Egyptian men!!

Break the silence!!

I don’t know any American men who hate women, except those who think feminism is evil and wish for the good old days when you could grope a woman in a bus or tell her she has a nice ass or whack her on the head if dinner’s not ready. It is not, as he seems to think, a crime to compliment a woman in America. The problem is that some American men don’t know how to compliment someone without making it look like they are waiting for her to say “thanks” and then slowly remove her blouse and panties. It’s one thing to say “hey that’s a nice dress” and mean nothing else it. But some men get upset when you complain about them saying “nice dress” while looking you up and down and making sexy noises. BIG DIFFERENCE!

Same with the door opening as “harassment”. Some men just reach the door first and politely hold it open for whoever happens to be arriving next, male or female. Others sprint ahead of you, whip open the door, bow and motion you inside, and the worst ones put their hand on your back like women don’t know how to use doorways and need to be guided through. Women know the difference between these two kinds of men. Men who hate feminism don’t.

Like those Egyptian men, some American men still think women are public property and that women shouldn’t be insulted if random men on the street think it’s okay to yell out “compliments” or for them to comment on a female coworker’s body.

If every Egyptian woman stood her ground and fought back when she was harassed on the street or at work, no doubt Eygptian men would soon be complaining about man-haters and feminism, and the good old days when you could “give women a compliment” too.

Akinoluna:

You make interesting presumptions. But since you’re a jar-head, (and a fellow photographer), I’ll make allowances.

Mona
it is really ashame! i really dont understand what happend to Egypt. I grow up here in NY, so I really did not see what have changed in Egypt.
as we see from the old movies, egyptian women used to dress as any other women in the world, and we never heard about this shamful acts.
something went wrong and it makes you think about everything.
Sex is avliable in Egypt as any other place. so I can not say because the society is locked!!
why the governmnet does not have strong laws?
why the police acts like a criminal?

I am very sad to learn what I learned after reading your post

نيويورك نورت
حمدلله على سلامتك

Raafat:

It is not only in Egypt where these kinds of things happen. Such experiences are common throughout the Middle East… yes, even in Israel. Ask any New Yorker who rides the subway and you will find that they regularly get groped… and not just the women.

I once had a woman grab me by the balls as I walked down a sidewalk in a medium-small town in the Midwestern part of the US. My response was a little more brutal than it should have been; I slammed her against a building without even breaking my stride. “Why dontcha come home with me?!” she wailed. Some people really shouldn’t drink.

I do not regard looking somebody up and down or being looked up and down as sexual harassment. Checking out an attractive member of the opposite sex is normal behavior. Women who object to being looked at should stay in hiding, but most women do not object, and from what I have seen, most women want men to notice them. The only ones who don’t, want other women to notice them.

Interestingly, they (the women who like women) are often the ones pushing the radical feminist agenda. I think such women are sick-minded. They need husbands and children. They also need to stay in the kitchen cooking for the aforementioned husband and children and stay out of politics. But I am an old and cantankerous woman-hater, so my opinion doesn’t matter to them.

I must say, as a (foreign) woman currently living in Egypt who lived in New York City for 5 years, that the kind of harassment I and all my female friends, Egyptian and foreign, experience here is far beyond anything that ever happened to me in New York (although I will admit I’ve never felt in danger of rape or real assault here). I also don’t think you can judge the same words or actions in the same way in both places, simply because of the social mores that form the backdrop. What in New York might be normal is crossing a perfectly clear boundary in Egypt.

In Cairo, harassment ranges from taxi drivers asking you if you still have sex with your husband through catcalls, featherlight inappropriate “accidental” touching, “I want to fuck you” and similar charming things murmured as you pass so only you can hear, random groping—from men walking past you in the street, drivers stuck in traffic as you pass by their window, groups of 12-year-old boys who surround you, joggers or motorcyclists speeding by you—and mobs tearing off women’s clothes.

And while I do not believe I am overreacting to any of this, I will say that constant harassment does, over a relatively short time, affect your ability to distinguish innocent from abusive behaviour. It’s related to the shame that Mona talks about in her post.

The comments, the groping, the really filthy language, and the inability to do anything about it (yelling and making a scene often just make it worse), and most of all the violation, make you feel dirty and turn inward on yourself. Even if you know you did absolutely nothing to warrant such harassment. And the more you react this way, the more you shy away from any contact with men. You find yourself hearing a leer in every hello, and lose the sense of being able to judge which really are leering and which are not.

I am a feminist. I am not a man-hater. I do not scream ‘down with patriarchy’ from the rooftops. But I do hate that the behaviour of some men (a shocking 62% if the results of the ECWR study are accurate) is creating a climate in which women are ashamed to admit, even to each other, that they feel degraded and violated, or that some sorry excuse for a human being has grabbed their breast or their crotch or their ass while they were simply walking down the street, or standing in the elevator, or sitting on a bus. You know there is something seriously wrong, and that it’s not our fault, when a man (may he burn in hell) gropes a woman in the middle of the Hajj.

To end with one of my favourite stories: a friend was on a fairly crowded public bus one day and felt a hand inching its way slowly and subtly over her shoulder and down her chest. She kept a pocketknife handy for just such occasions. She quietly positioned the pocketknife next to her nipple, blade pointing up. When the hand had meandered down that far, it got a sharp, rude shock. It withdrew with lightning speed. She was not bothered again.

I wasn’t making presumptions. I said those things because of the many men I’ve met, both Marines and civilians, who act and think in the ways I mentioned. I’m not one of those thin-skinned women so men tend to talk openly around me…and I’m constantly amazed at all the Neanderthal comments and beliefs. But I’m also constantly amazed by the modern men who treat women like normal human equals instead of strange alien creatures.

Akinoluna,

But women ARE strange alien creatures! (Couldn’t resist!)

They are also equal like Whites in South Africa used to be equal. Case(s) in point: When were women ever drafted? When are they expected to pay for the movie, restaurant, carnival ride, etc.? In just about any military base, if a woman feels threatened, all she has to do is yell a little and she’ll have a couple dozen well-muscled young men ready to beat the dude to paste merely on her say-so. The same goes for bars.

It may well be that women are equal under the law, when the law is actually applied equally, and it almost never is, but equal does not necessarily mean “the same”, as well it should not. We are different, you and I, in many ways. We’ll never be “the same”, no matter how much certain radical feminists would wish to make it so.

If it were not for the fact that children exist, an off-planet observer might well conclude that we are two separate species.

Men and women are more alike than we are different. The draft was over 30 years ago! Women’s rights have come a long way since then and if there’s another draft, women should be a part of it. Some men DO expect women to pay their way, or take turns, for things like movies but a lot of men also insist on paying themselves. Whose fault is that? Everyone should expect to pay for themselves and if someone offers to pay the entire bill, that’s on them.

I would like to thank Mona for her bravery efforts for projecting light on the traditions and behaviors of the majority of our men. You are telling stories from your life and lives of your knowledge, but I believe this is not enough. To reform nations criticism is not enough, we need to point to causes and find solutions!

Colonialism
In past century and after the Second World War there was awakening of the Western societies towards women issues. At that era our countries were reeling under the hegemony of the West colonizing, looting and destroying people and states. The governments appointed by the West served the objectives and desires of their masters by increasing the pressure and repression on people’s freedoms, and women were the first to be affected. Today in our Arab and Muslim worlds women issues are still considered by governments very relative when compared to the major growing destroying issues and its impacts on people. These issues have increased dramatically after the second half of the past century and the beginning of the 21 century. Our people are suffering from hunger, water scarcity, destruction of agriculture, shortage in technology, poverty, diseases, illiteracy in addition to neo-colonialism and occupation of land and fragmentation of states. West created the term terrorism and planted in our lands and then combating terrorists on our territories.
If I will talk about the case of the women of Iraq, before 2003 women were very much enjoying their rights and freedoms especially before 1990 when the economical sanction has implemented by international community on the people of Iraq. But after 2003 women lives were collapsed completely. Even men attitudes towards women have changed negatively because of the lost security and fear on women lives and their dignity from attacks of gangs and terrorists in the streets.

Islam and freedoms
What is happening in Arab and Muslim states very far from the teachings of Quraan. We live with a patriarchal built up traditions in the name of Islam; traditions that serve the desires and dominance of men in communities.
I firmly reject the thought “Islam is parallel to terrorism” or “Islam is parallel to women repression and oppression”. Islam has no real implementation in the lives of the people of these states, and Islam has nothing to do with what is happening on these spots. Those countries with enormous wealth, vulnerable people and Puppet Governments needs drafting and implementing laws to control the life machine.

Role of Law
Problems of women and men in our countries grow and flourished in the absence of freedoms and lacking of laws regulating people’s lives. Our states are in desperate need for implementing laws that protect and regulate the lives of citizens and wealth. Eventually we will be happy and live peacefully at home and with the outside world.

It’s been a long time since I visited, but 30 years or more ago, it was fairly difficult (nearly impossible) for a woman to travel practically anywhere in Sicily unless she were accompanied by a brother, father or husband.

Mona..

I’m inclined to believe the study and I also believe what you wrote. I’ve repeatedly suffered sexual harassment at the hands of men while living in Egypt, and because I’m Egyptian, no one would help me. No one believed me, not even my own family. After an Egyptian soldier attempted to rape me, but thankfully failed, I decided to deal with the problem on my own, to the extent that I bought a switchblade and carried it with me ALL the time. The first time I left home without it was the day I moved to Canada. I hope that Egyptian women can one day be free.

Dale and Akinoluna…entertaining discussion…but being a modern guy…one that has respect for women, I side more with Akinoluna with respect to your discussion. Haha… it also seems Dale has been scorned by the opposite sex in the past too many times.

Well, I have three children with two different mothers. I now live in a house with two children and a woman. Peace and quiet is hard to come by. Should have been scorned more than I was.

As to my current attitudes toward women, I simply found that the older I got, the fewer uses I had for young women with empty heads… which, more and more often these days seems to be most of ‘em. Haven’t met one in years that can think without using her hormones.

The best women are the ones on the Internet who, by definition, have enough intelligence to use a computer. That way, when I get tired of them, I can simply log out.

Dale needs to watch the HBO series “Mad Men”… for a lesson on the old days. This would illustrate the reason we needed to change the norms and laws.
Akinoluna is correct, women completely know the difference from a pure compliment from a person she knows well, and a come on or simple objectification by an asshole.

بخصوص موضوع التحرش الجنسى المنشر فى جريده المصرى اليوم بتاريخ 11اغسطس 2008 عدد رقم 1520.وما تعرضتى له من مضايقات وتحرش فى بعض التجمعات وذلك اثناء ارتدائك الحجاب وعدم حمايته لكى على حد قولك . نريد لكى صوره اثناء ارتدائك الحجاب . وهل كان شرعى ام لا . وهو سيرد على كل كلامك. 000000000 واخيرا ياسيده الفاضله المفرض انك على درجه كبيره من العلم وانك سفيره لنا في الخارج لماذا كل هذا التشويه للاسلام بطريقه او باخرى كفانا مافعله الارهاب من تشويه للاسلام والمتعصبين وغيرهم كل ماريده منك اظهار سماحه الاسلام لدى الغرب ….. وفقك الله وشكرا لكى. اسلام فريج .مصر

Please consider this a constructive suggestion: try to establish a more scientific approach, not just with quickie surveys, but a ranking of the seriousness of the harassment, from suspicious glances to wolf-whistles to mooning to fondling to rape. It may all seem to be harassment to women, but as the seriousness of the violation increases people’s doubts tend to fall away and thus will merit greater attention.

Who is to be blamed for this inhuman treatment meted out to an innocent minor girl or a defenceless woman? Solely the culprit? I dare say that all of us are equally responsible for the unspeakable tragedy under review. The fair sex is vulnerable to sexual harassments because the society looks at females as weaker sex or as objects of sex. What is worse, the society abandons the raped girls or women as filthy rags.

I think the man-woman relationship needs to be corrected, and the entire age-old concept of virginity has to be changed. Humanity has reached a stage of acute contradiction between Jesus’ law of love and the existing religio-social order. That is why it will appear insane if a man decides to marry a raped woman.

We are living in an age bereft of moral values, political convictions and religious beliefs. Needless to say that all of us are guilty of every crime committed in our society. The anger and rage on hearing about the incidents of sexual harassments on minor girls and women compel us to think irrationally and we care two hoots for a fair trial. As responsible members of a civilized society, we have to bring about a change in our society so that the scope for sexual harassments is reduced to the minimum. The best solution that I can think of is to allow Jesus to take control of our wicked, sinful nature.

OMAR

Omar,

You have said it all, we need to pray that Jesus should interve. If all this men have the fear of God, because the Bible says the fear of God is the begining of wisdom. They will not do all that they are doing. But have they ever thought about it, that it could be their wives or sisters or daughter?

We are in the end time. I pray that their spiritual eye of understanding. will be opened.

The Lord Jesus should be merciful and allow they Gospel to be deeply rooted there.

God should please forgive the sins of their fathers – Pharaoh and set this country loose from this bondage.

What is happening is more of a spiritual problem than physical.

It is well.

The comment up above that mentions how western countries have became the opposite where women make complaints that are so rediculous about men and are believed and men have no defence. That and other things against men, like family law, custody, access, alimony, child support, property settlement. All totally unfair to men.

Well I got news for you girls, Islam is having massive appeal to a great deal of western men because of these reasons. I’ve had more conversations then I can count with men about the threat of Islams influence, and possible eventual take over of western countries, and you know something, men are starting to not give a toss. They will just convert to Islam, and end all this feminism and womens rights stuff once and for all.

Think about what’s happening

Oh, by the way, don’t bother rushing out to talk to men to see if this is true, sure, they will deny it, but Islam is starting to be something that typical western men talk about very differently when in only male company then what they do when women are present. They live in “Dar al harb”, and we want to live in “Dar al Paradise for men, hell hole for women” And they are practicing tikia. I have realised this over a long period of time and this is why they will fall back on politically correct stand bys concerning Islam, even when talking about a woman stoned to death for bearing a bit of ankle or something. It seems men are becoming so pissed off at things they will cuddle up to barbarian Islamists if they have to in order to get free from the grips of feminism gone mad.

Think about it…….nearly all men will be divorced before 40 years old, most will lose most of their assets, then pay child support on top, and maybe alimony. Then when they date, they still often pay, to go out with another women who has all her income to herself, her ex’s child support and most of the assets, and now, often earns more then him anyway. Then he gets threatened with sexual harrassment charges and lives in a hostile environment at work, in public….women just like his ex everywhere, who lived good lives with there ex’s, but dumped them anyway, and now call him committmentphobic if he doesn’t want a committment, and a pervert if he just wants something casual with no strings. On the other hand if he want to get serious, he’s possessive, controlling, immature, co-dependant, and needs a woman to look after him.

Your day is coming girls

Boooo Hooooo. You sound so pathetic Stu.
You talk so much of other’s ‘whining’ and ‘complaints’…but you take the cake.

I think maybe you should try a conscious effort at homosexuality because it seems like it would better suit you.

this bizarre fantasy that the islamic world wants to take over the western world….. continues to mystify me. What makes anyone think that they want your world. True fundamentalism is a complete rejection of the western world and therefore wants nothing to do with it. They just want western armies to get the hell out the predominantly muslim countries once and for all.

Once humanity understands there is no religion, we can all move on can’t we…pathetic.

Bravo, Mona, for having the courage to speak your truth. No one can take that away from you, the ‘Dales’ of the world can never belittle, diminish or silence you again. “The truth shall set you free.” (The Bible)

You have found your voice, you are strong, you are powerful, and you are worthy of respect and admiration. Anyone who presents the truth will be challenged because people do not like the truth. And I’ve learned God doesn’t dole out truth to just anyone…He will not entrust it to fools.

Being born female does not make anyone less. To be made to think otherwise is a lie. All are precious in God’s sight, all, and every human being deserves dignity.

Keep telling your story, the world needs to hear the truth.

If as many crimes were committed against men by women, we would be in an entirely different world. For some reason, sexual abuse to women and girls is accepted.

And let me just say to anyone trying to put Mona down for telling her truth – you diminish yourselves when you do so. Everyone deserves being heard. Disagree if you must, but if you dive into a person’s personality doing so, or make comments about an entire gender, you have exposed the ugliness of your own heart and your argument bears no weight. If you knew how much of your own self you were exposing, you would be far more careful in selecting your words and stick to the subject.

If stopping sexual abuse against girls and women is called feminism, sign me up. It’s time the insanity stopped.

“Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by the crime feel as indignant as those who are.” – King Solomon 970-928 B.C.

and another religious quote LOL. FFS move on people!

Personally this is more to do with the economic situation and frustration in Egyptian Society, men with degrees working as security guards or taxi drivers or even if they find jobs at 150-200 dollars/month. Thus the Egyptian man can not get married as the social requirements (flat, furniture, etc.) are too difficult for him to fulfill. You can not blame either sex for a sexual urge it is natural and as humans of course we have relationships. So please pose a solution?

A) Do with Islam and Hijab, allow premarital sex and other ‘Social Taboos’. Again don’t want to compare but premarital sex has it’s flaws look at the single mothers in America and west (not comparing).

B) Have government aid for families to settle and allow for job opportunities. Basically put pressure on the oppressive, corrupt regime and the west that supports it to change it’s policies. 80% of wealth in Egypt is with 5% of the population.

C) Have massive orgies

Personally, I feel (B) is the right way to go.

I admire you so much for writing this article. I’ve lived in the U.S my entire life, I’m from an average suburb, and I know exactly what you mean. I developed breasts very early, around 8, and I was sexually harassed by my male classmates. I didn’t tell anyone for years, and at the time I was so ashamed. I thought it was my fault, and I just bound my breasts with constrictive bras and hid them with baggy clothing. I denied my femininity as much as possible so that I would not be harassed for it.

Now that I’m older I still carry this shame, and it’s hard to get over. Every time an older man makes a comment at me or some such, I feel it come back, stronger, and I jut want to hide.

You’re so brave for writing those things. I wish I could have been as brave as you.

How sad that the only possible way to change this situation would be for these women to stop wearing traditional clothing and to begin learning self defense against these perpetrators. In the US many of these cases would be settled with the aggressor ending up in jail and getting his punishment. How sad that these women allow the men of their country to control the laws and the police force. How sad that these women allow men to tell them what to do. How sad… but they must decide to change for themselves. It seems that there is not much that more educated and freedom-exposed women can do. I think that many of us American women who have watched and learned about our parents and grandparents fighting for women’s rights can only support these countries with our money, vocal support, and humanitary efforts. We WILL SUPPORT you! But you must begin yourself, shed this clothing, learn to speak for yourself, teach yourself, earn money for yourself, protect yourself, expect rights for yourself… Until you believe that this is the life you deserve… the world will not believe that you really want these things.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am grateful.

I don’t want to use your story to try and make my own soapbox higher, or to further some agenda I might have about spreading information about human rights or westernized culture, etc, etc. *Looks around the thread*

What happened to you was horrible, and I am happy that you are speaking up and out.

I feel really sorry for these men. As a result of their worldview they have no ability to form genuine relationships with women, are locked in to disempowering hierarchical relationships with other men, and definitely lack self respect.

In the end what joy do they have from life, definitely nothing from these purile and desperate advances.
And when they die they will probably have little inner dignity or strength to face what comes next.

I am sorry the culture of your country has gone so low to train men in this fashion. But it is just not Egypt, this is an all to common phenonmon worldwide.

I pray that better times will come soon and liberate both women and men from these depredations.

Stop covering yourself up!!!. You are equal to men, no more no less. It is because of religion that demands this. It is a shame some religions are so medieval. When Muslims come to this country the must practice there religion but get rid of the archaic beliefs about women.What you see is a bunch of old men who are hippocrates.

Thank you for this post. Thank you for saying what so many people experience and so few will talk about openly.

Thank you all for your kind and supportive comments and for sharing your stories with me.

Apols for late response to yur comments – I was in the Middle East and returned to NYC exhausted and I’m just now getting back to speed.

I’m often asked who I write 0 who I have in mind when I write – and honestly I don’t have any particular kind of reader in mind but write instead to express myself and to let go of anger I feel at various injustices.

So it’s always a treat to hear from readers touched by my writing – it’s an honour!

Thank you for this post and some of the comments that followed.

I from time to time hear other men make comments about rape and derogatory comments about women that were out of line but out of peer pressure I have said nothing.

Yesterday at a function there was this macho guy who made a joke about raping and pillaging.

When I found the opportunity I took him aside and said, “You know, given the statistics joking about rape is likely to be upsetting to many men as well as women.”

I was nervous about doing it but he thanked me in a very honest way.

This has encouraged me not to let this kind of talk pass in the future.

In response to Stu’s belief on Western men reverting to Islam on the basis of their financial obligations, I have news for Stu: Muslim men are REQUIRED to support not just their wives, but mothers, sisters, all female relatives who need it. Muslim women may keep their ENTIRE earnings for their own whims, and are not required to lift a finger, even for household chores, unless they desire to. Their housing, food, and clothing would all fall on their menfolk’s shoulders, regardless of whether she worked or not. Additionally, a man must pay a dowry up front, and more in case of divorce, just to prevent her from ending up a poor widow or divorcee. So, to think for one second that Islam is a miracle out from paying alimony does nothing but display his gross ignorance of the religion.

Moreover, sexual harassment is rife in the Near East, and I’d advise any woman to just casually carry a knife just in case, and indulge in loud obnoxious histrionics at any offense. Public shame and religious pressure are far more effective socially than arguing with the perverts.

what I think Dale and Akinoluna’s conversation revolved around, but did not address was the issue of privilege.

Women all over the world are at a disadvantage because they have had the image of women as being weak, defenseless creatures to contend with- it doesn’t matter if a female individual is strong, she still has to take into consideration if the way she dresses is going to change the perception of her, make her a target.

Never can a woman dress in a short skirt and a tank top (for instance) without someone thinking she’s easy or deserves a ‘compliment’- the skeazy kind. And when a woman walks alone down a dark street she HAS to think about what she’s going to do if someone walks up to her with less-than-good-intentions

Men don’t have to worry about that- that’s their privilege, and it’s not a man’s fault! Saying that men have privilege is not saying that that everything bad happening to women is the fault of men, but where someone benefits or gets away with something because of privilege (like getting away with sexual harassment charges- which a LOT of men do in the US) there is someone who is being negatively because of it.

Feminism (which is NOT even remotely defined by man-hating courtesy-loathing lesbians as Dale seems to imply) is the effort to be treated with dignity and respect by all people, and it cannot succeed in that unless the group with the privilege (in this case men) lend support and actively move to change the established behaviors- work to give up their privilege.

But Dale, your comments about how “Haven’t met one in years that can think without using her hormones.” and “The best women are the ones on the Internet who, by definition, have enough intelligence to use a computer. That way, when I get tired of them, I can simply log out.”

are not only insulting to women, but clear evidence of you enjoying the privilege of you being a man affords you- hormones?

really? -because everyone has hormones, and why are women the only ones controlled by them- what about the ones that make men go ape-shit or if deficient cause erectile-dysfunction, you know testosterone?

And Stu, a lot of the laws about child-support etc, are unfair to men, BECAUSE of the constant advantage men have over women- yes some of the laws seem extreme and appear cater to the idea that there’s no way a women could support her children on her own. But a lot of them are to protect the women from being the victim of male privilege.

and it shouldn’t matter if a women in dressed and covered from head to toe, or not. women shouldn’t have to shed chosen religious clothing (for those who do chose to wear it) to receive respect from the community and government around them

“from what I have seen, most women want men to notice them. The only ones who don’t, want other women to notice them.”

… are you serious? Isn’t it possible I have things other than impressing other people on my mind? That my appearance isn’t that big of a concern to me? I’ve never cared much about my appearance, to men OR women (and I’ve had relationships with both). The idea that women have to be so concerned about their appearance… enrages me. I’m too angry to formulate a coherent retort.

“Interestingly, they (the women who like women) are often the ones pushing the radical feminist agenda. I think such women are sick-minded. They need husbands and children. They also need to stay in the kitchen cooking for the aforementioned husband and children and stay out of politics. But I am an old and cantankerous woman-hater, so my opinion doesn’t matter to them.”

I hope this part is a joke.

get an electric shocker!!!

Do you think it would make them go away?

All that had happened to Mona Eltahawy is really shameful upon her countrymen but has it anything got to do with their religion or is it the level of humanity that they have fallen to?

I’m sure you all will agree that it has nothing to do with religion since no religion teaches that (apart from a few ideologies who, as per their scriptures, treats women so).

And I am more astonished at the fact that the western world is silent about all that’s happening to women in Egypt. Rather, Egypt has enjoys very good relation with them. Double Standards. Isn’t it?

Hi Mona. I’m not Arab but my husband is Arab. I start to feel that muslim men especially Arabs, are “concerned” about hijab more than Allah do. Meaning, perhaps God wouldn’t be angry or really mind if a woman chooses not to wear hijab after all, but men DO.

I’ve always thought as long as a woman wears something decent, then it’s OK. Ok meaning, she shouldn’t be criticised. Sometimes I feel I’m wearing hijab just so that I will not be judged as an “easy” woman by men. That is, I wear it just so that I will not be labelled in a negative way. I hate it. Why can’t Arab men just mind their own business??!

I don’t know but these days I start to really feel that Allah will not mind if I don’t cover my hair. Or if I become a decent ad model (that is a taboo in Arab society too). The shame taboo thing is really starting to get on my nerves. Thing is, it’s getting harder and harder these days to work a good job with a good paycheck when you cannot be free enough to wear what you want (and I don’t mean bikini or mini skirt or see throughs or all that. Just something decent without having to cover the hair and exclude pants/jeans all the time). I mean seriously, why would an employer choose a woman who has so much fuss about covering her hair and not wearing pants (must try best to wear long skirts, which, by the way, are hard to find and expensive comparing to pants and jeans)and not wearing make up when he can get a woman who has no such fuss and appears friendly and approachable??

I start to feel that to be a really, really “non-aib” woman in the eyes of Arab men is only possible if your husband or family is super rich. Think Saudis. Their women have chauffers, maids and drivers. They don’t have to work. So they can live like a perfect hijabi “respectable” woman. Because clearly, with all that help, even I wouldn’t mind not only covering my hair but also my face and eyes and everything really! But fact is, outside Arabia (and Kuwait perhaps), most women just HAVE to be in public. They have to work because cost of living is expensive, and the salary is small. Depending on husband’s income alone will not cut it. You’ll end up trying to borrow from others. Or from the bank. Or some do things they shouldn’t do (like cheating their business partners or stealing etc). Western convert muslim women will not understand this. They say you can make it if only your husband works. But I beg to differ. I’m from asia. And from where I come from, we don’t get free health subsidies, free education or such things as coupon systems. Everything is super expensive to locals because everything must be paid. There’s no such thing as a welfare system here. One would have to borrow money just to buy grocery!

But how can we women work if just to BE in public is considered aib??? How can we women really work if talking to men is aib, being in company of men is aib? How can we avoid men when face it, the workforce is of course majored by men?? And worse, how can you efficiently compete when there is too much restrictions on you as compared to on men or on non-hijabi/non-restricted women whether muslimah or non muslim??

I really wish I have an answer to this. Can’t take it anymore.

I’m sorry I notice I’ve offed topic. But my sentiments still do rest on the topic on shaming women by men (especially Arab men) hence, the post.

SOmetimes I wish I could talk like a white girl to a man who wants to judge me, “Mind your own business!” Oh but if I do that, I’ll get spit at, perhaps.

Actually, it has EVERYTHING to do with how a women dresses. Do you think what egyptian women are wearing today is called a “hijab”? HA! Tight clothes with which the man already sees everything, so he goes for a grab!

Sexual harassment in Egypt is malicious and psychologically draining for women. It is not isolated incidents like a random guy jerking off in frontof you, it is a profound societal issue and a daily occurrence, even the police sexually harass women in the street! Downtown and Islamic Cairo are the worst areas. In both of these places bands of shiftless, unemployed and sexually repressed young Egyptian men take pleasure in causing each woman that walks by discomfort. It has little to do with what a women has on either, as people would like to lead you to believe. Women in full niqabs and burqas suffer through lewd and explicit comments from men here. I hope the Egyptian government cracks down and passes strict laws against harassment, Egyptian families raise their sons with a stronger sense of morals and respect for women, and more women begin speaking out against their abusers b/c I have already warned all my female friends against visiting Egypt.

PS- if there was ever a country where pepper spray and tazers should be legal and readily available, this is it
http://blackincairo.blogspot.com/2010/04/struggling-with-sexual-harassment-by.html

Dear Mona Ive copied some of the statistics you have written in your article for a design I’m working on. Kindly email me so i can send you a copy of this design and i need help researching the egyptian constitutions as Article 268 of the Penal Code states that penalties range from one to seven years’ imprisonment on cases related to sexual harrassment bau i can’t seem to find the exact article

Sexual harassment is never right. But there are certain forms of harassment that are so simple to avoid that I am shocked when I read things like the poster above who said she has lived in Egypt 5 years yet she has taxi drivers asking her whether she still has sex with her husband. I am a woman, I never have taxi drivers ask me such questions. But then I tell them where I need to go and the only discussion I would have would be to clarify how to get there. No taxi drivers ever try to talk to me. If you don’t want to have a conversation with a taxi driver, it’s simple, you won’t have one. If the conversation gets to the point of asking whether you still have sex with your husband, then frankly, you’ve already said WAY TOO MUCH. Why does he even know you have a husband? Why did you discuss something personal like that with him? If someone asks you a question not related to getting to your destination, then don’t open your mouth to respond. He will understand he crossed the line and it will end there.

Meggy, Men are perfectly capable of modifying their behaviour i.e. not opening their mouths and making derogatory comments to paying customers in their cab. Do you really believe that if a woman behaves in a subservient way, men will never attack her? Our is it fear, that underlines your words, that if you kid yourself that only so called foolish bad girls get attacked, and if you live by the misogynists rule book it won’t happened to you? I have genuine sympathy for the Egyptian ladies who are being deigned the basic right to go about their daily lives without being assaulted.
Hopefully the Egyptian misogynists like the taxi driver mentioned will shoot themselves in the foot as female tourists and their families will avoid the area like the plague. I understand that tourism is a major export. Maybe that will force the Egyptian government to do something, while they seem to have little regard for their female citizens I bet they will care about the loss of hard cash.

who said that it dosnt hapen any where else?

very brave!
i can’t do what you did
i stay home more instead! yes sad..but safer!

Dale, I grew up in NYC and have never been groped while riding the subway. I was groped only once while walking outside. Not to say it does not happen, but I dress far from modestly and am not unattractive and ride the subway all the time.

[...] it’s tackling the issue head-on. Despite what Suzanne Mubarak may say, there have long been reports of the rampant sexual harassment on Egypt’s [...]

Sexual harassment at the work place in Egypt is malevolent and psychologically challenging for any women. Sexual harassment creates a lot of mental tress. So we must take some tough steps to protest it_______

[...] [...]

I’m a man and and as a consequence have little direct experience of sexual harassment(it happens but far less frequently). Despite this, it is obvious to me that the attitudes that encourage and condone this behaviour are detrimental not only to the women involved but to society as a whole. People who are oppressed are less likely to reach their potential and are prevented from contributing as much to society as when they are free. All societies and countries suffer to some extent from the scourge of gender inequality but Egypt and other Arab countries, more than most.

It seems that Egyptians, at this turning point in their history, have an opportunity to to liberate themselves from tyranny and achieve freedom for all, not just half the population. We should do whatever we can to encourage and support them in that endeavour.

Mona, sorry to hear about your terrible experience, especially during your pilgrimage. I hope men like that will get what’s coming to them. God sees everything. Thanks for sharing.

Just like if I was bitten by a Dog when I was just 3 years old, does not mean that Dogs are beasts and should be kept in chin and not in home. No religion propagates women to be treated as a subject of sex. In fact the religion requires all men that they shall subdue their eyes (and not stare at the women), and to maintain their chastity. This is purer for them. God is fully Cognizant of everything they do. Perhaps its in Egyptian blood that they treat women as an object or as a property. But if my memory serves me, it was same in Victorian era, was that because of Islam?. As far as being assaulted while performing Haj- I only have to say that it was an act of sick person. But how people behave in front of “Bait Alla” has nothing to do with the Kingdom or King. Blame the Queen for supporting “Saud Family” in throwing “ALQuraish” Family out of the holy land and creating a kingdom.

Has anyone tried a PR campaign against sexual harassment? Something showing that when men act like this they look like disgusting, pathetic idiots?

We need to turn the shame on those who harass.

[...] sexual harassment (including groping, cat calling and stares from men) is so common in Egypt. And since I [...]

[...] Mona Eltahawy Blog » Archives » Shame and Sexual Harassment in Egypt. [...]

Watch a movie called “V for Vendetta” That’s how our governments looks like.

Hi Mona,

I’m from India and in our country, cultures and religious scriptures, women has been described as goddesses. I’m neither a religious person nor a believer yet sexually harassing a lady is something that my concise doesn’t allow me to do.
I’m reading this post at the back of a news story that I saw yesterday on one of the news channels regarding a group of men who kidnapped a 23 year old Delhi girl who was returning from her late shift from a mall where she was working, and gang-raped her. Those b*****ds had enough audacity to drop her at a local train station during the morning hours, as if she was an use-an-throw object.
It boils my blood, every time I hear such horrible instances. In fact, such instances are the very reason why I don’t have any faith in God coz had there been god, he would swat these lecherous a*****es with leprosy and/or make them fall in gutter and wash out to the sea before they touch any woman.

I just hope that girls like you and your sister can pass on respect and morality to your brothers and kids so that the future generation of men can grow up respecting women. Take care.

Being a guy, I’d also like to emphasize the fact that a woman’s clothes in no way responsible for her being sexually harassed. Like you pointed out, that you were harassed even when you were wearing hijab. In fact, even if someone is wearing a short skirt or a tube/tank top, that doesn’t give any man any right to sexually harass or rape her. One cannot rape a girl and get away in the court of law saying that, “she was dressed provocatively and hence I raped her.” Something like this is totally unacceptable and I believe, such men should be shot in public.

Sorry, for such extreme comments, but it boils my blood whenever I come across such a story where a woman’s honor is compromised.

you’re one of the bravest people i’ve ever saw .