Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
Earlier this week, I discussed shame and sexual harassment with an editor at the independent Egyptian daily Al Masry Al Youm.
Almost 200 readers – mostly men – posted stunningly misogynistic messages in reaction. They questioned whether I had ever really faced sexual harassment as I said I had or if I was just making it all up to make Egyptians and Muslims look bad they chose instead to focus obsessively on how women dressed and to continue to blame women – just as the Egyptian Centre for Women’s Rights found in its survery on sexual harassment in Egypt.
What upset most of the men was my belief that the more women wore hijab – a headscarf – the greater the prevalence of sexual harassment because it absolved men of assuming responsibility for their own behaviour. I know how bad things have become in Egypt because I return several times a year but the messages were really sickening. They were also upset that I used to wear a headscarf and chose to take it off. Reading the dozens of messages railing at me for taking it off was another reminder of just how obsessed with hijab Egypt had become.
Some men actually asked something along the lines of: “Who are you to have been harassed at the age of 4?” as if it was an honour to have a man flash you!
The women who posted comments were. like me, stunned by the men’s hateful messages and denial. They asked the men to ask their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers just how bad sexual harassment had become in Egypt.
Many women shared their own miserable experiences. One of the most poignant posts was from a woman who said she and her friends had begun to fight back against stray hands by using the pin which holds their headscarves in place!
I’m glad I exploded this bomb in Al Masry Al Youm and hope it helps.
I’m including a PS to my original post to express how much I appreciate the emails that Egyptians have sent to me regarding that Al Masry Al Youm discussion. Again, like the posts on the paper’s website, the email are mostly from men but they’re of a totally different view. The men who have emailed me have done so to thank me for talking about sexual harassment and have asked what they can do to help.
It’s great to hear that!
Comments (7)
ma3t said:
Whenever I read anything about sexual harassment in Egypt I get a mixture of feelings. I feel comforted that another voice is added, that this is one fight which won’t burn out. I also feel scared that maybe we are not talking enough, that maybe because of the feeling of shame that sometimes we wrongly get we don’t tell all the ugly details.
But I remember when the Down Town 3id sexual harassment scandal happened. many of us, female bloggers , started publishing our own stories and experiences in the streets of Egypt. It was a memorable thing, many girls, and we all felt strengthened by each others’ words, and we shared the anger and the bitterness of it all.
And yes as you mentioned, we had to deal with so many abusive comments, and comments that blame us solely for all of it. But atleast we were not each on her own isolated, and we found also supportive outraged male voices
waga3telek dema3′ek
ta7eyati
August 12th, 2008, 7:03 pm
Mona Eltahawy said:
ma3t
Thanks so much for your feedback. I remember what a turning point the Downtown Eid attacks were and how instrumental you great bloggers were in getting all the ugly details out there.
I’m glad it created solidarity and strength – it really helps. I’ve heard personally from so many women who have told me some awful stories. My heart broke so many times whenever they said their families didn’t believe them.
And thank you for pointing out the courageous men who support us. I got many supportive emails from Egyptian men after the Al Masry Al Youm piece and some posted on the paper’s website too. One quite rightly pointed out that the hateful posts were sexual harassment by words.
You are absolutely right that we must talk more and so I’m glad you spoke here too – shukran!
In solidarity!
Salamaat!
August 12th, 2008, 7:15 pm
safaa said:
if some men r still thinking that there is no sexual harassment in Egypt then they r not living in Egypt.i have being harassed many times be but u know after wearing the hijab ,i can not think of one single accident it is my luck or what but that what happened el hamdoliah .
also i don’t think that sexual harassment increases after the spread of hijab,but it is more a result of the wrong way we raise our kids..i still c moms who encourage their 5 years old boys to comment on girls (mo3ksa).
i myself took off the hijab once,but when i wore for the second time,i am so determint not to take it off again inshaallah coz i really love it
salam alikom
August 13th, 2008, 8:21 am
Frank said:
From Amr Khaled lesson about Hijab:
http://www.amrkhaled.net/acategories/categories79.html
When the enemy of Islam wants to destroy something, the first thing they destroy is the woman! Because when the woman looses her modesty, it is easy for the youth to be lost, and it in turn easy for the people to loose their modesty. So the first thing I will talk about modesty is the modesty of the woman. So if we say that modesty for the man is obligatory, then modesty for the woman is obligatory, for her it is a crucial duty! Because the nature of the woman is easy for modesty- she is closest to modesty. And the most important thing for the woman, the greatest thing for her. What is it?
For her to protect and cover her body. The greatest thing that belongs to the woman is her Hijab.
To the brothers and sisters who are listening, listen to these words and tell your sisters and tell your relatives. And sister in Islam, if you are listening, and if you are a Mohajaba, spread this message to your sisters in Islam, and if you are not a Mohajaba, try to benefit from what will be said today. The most honored thing a woman possesses is her modesty. And the most precious thing of modesty is the Hijab. If I asked you a question, if I asked you what is the most precious thing you owned, what would it be? If you have something precious, will you take care of it and protect is? Will you hide it or not? If you have a pearl or a Jewel, would you protect it or keep it in a safe place or not? The more valuable it becomes, the more you want to protect it. So will you hide it from the people or show it off? Or will you leave it in front of everyone to see and take from it whatever he/she wants? Of course you are going to protect it! So what is the most important, precious thing that deserves to be protected? The most important, precious thing that a woman possesses is her modesty. And the most important thing in the woman’s life is her Hijab.
Sisters and brothers, did you know that the Pearl is protected by its shell? Is that right or not? And that shell is not too pretty, yet you cannot substitute it with anything else to protect the pearl. Therefore you cannot do with the Hijaab as it protects you. And there is a light hearted question. Why is the Hijab an obligation for women and not an obligation for men? Is it just to pressurize the woman? Why isn’t it obligatory for men? It is because 100 men will never be able to seduce or make one woman fall for them. No matter what they did, if the woman is not interested, those 100 men cannot do anything to attract her. However, one woman can succeed to attract 100 men in a few minutes. Therefore it is obligatory for the woman, since she is the source of attraction and influence. So the Hijab in her right is a must for her.
August 13th, 2008, 2:57 pm
Khaled Kandil said:
Mona … I read your article in Al Masry El Youm, and I’m not surprised from the responses you got from a number of men. You are right, it has become really sickening how men and some women in Egypt are justifying sexual harassment. What happened in Egypt in the last 30 years is beyond imagination. I can’t believe that this is how Egypt ended up seen by the whole world at the beginning of the 21st century. I recall when women felt safe and protected walking around in the streets of Cairo or in any city in Egypt for that matter, regardless of what they wear and how they look. I can’t believe that countries like the UK are warning their citizens if they ever go to Egypt in particular to watch out from being sexually harassed. Shame on us and on all Egyptian men to allow such reputation to prevail. We have become so obsessed with covering the hair of women, while we lost ties with all basic morals and values. It’s a pity we think we can get away with all that sickness while pretending we are protecting Islam.
August 15th, 2008, 6:00 am
Mona Eltahawy said:
Safaa, thanks for sharing your experience. The way children are raised is indeed an important point, especially if it’s always the girl who is taught to be modest and responsible while the boys are never taught those habits.
Khaled, thank you for your comments. Good to hear your point of view. It’s so sad how Egypt has changed into a country full of people obsessed with women and how to cover them.
Egypt is full of superficial piety that focuses just on women. I wish those basic morals and values you mention would matter as much.
August 15th, 2008, 11:28 am
suzanne said:
i had been harassed years ago,,once i had to go back home, insead going to take my final exam at college, because some one squeezes my breast with his dirty hand,,he spotted with a dark black mechanic oil,,,,and i have an artcle from a tourist, i could forward it, if you place your email,,,thanks,,,suzanne
November 16th, 2008, 10:28 am
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